Roller coaster

Last night was fun and a total mess all in one. I went and had some drinks with Matt outside. It was beautiful in the evening and I was in fairly good spirits until Christian called and made me cry all the way home. He's such a dick, I'm having a hard time understanding why I even answered the phone at all. I mean, it's been 39 days, why last night?

It's hard. I guess I hadn't realized until yesterday that most of my waking energy each day is devoted to keeping myself from crying. Since when do I cry? Seriously. I am NOT a baby. That really pisses me off, I'm SO MUCH STRONGER THAN THAT, and he wasn't good to me anyway.

So why does it hurt so much?

Aanyway, I don't want to dwell on that. Pat (my boss) has pretty much left me alone to tackle the Rays during Spring Training, which is AWESOME. I was afraid he'd lead the way and I'd be stuck on a fill-in basis only, but for the most part he makes himself scarce when I'm working. So happy. :) I'll be writing for AP come the weekend, which = extra money and another experience I can add to my resume.

It's so beautiful today, I'm really blessed to have a job where not only do I get to sit outside all day, I spend it watching my favorite sport. How many people get to say that? Sometimes I'm still amazed that I spend time complaining and feeling sorry for myself when I'm just about the most fortunate person I know. I really could be laid off, or working at Circuit City again. If my job is all that I have, then I'd better make sure to do as well as I can with what I have to work with, and move somewhere fabulous and far away as soon as possible.

I've really got to get my mind right again. I'm going to try to think of one thing I'm thankful for each day instead of whining about crap I can't control. There WAS a reason I got the tattoos, after all.

Jeromy Keen's mom just called and invited me for dinner on Wednesday. (He's the H.S. soccer player that fractured his skull at one of the games I covered). She makes me smile, and she's going to feed me so all is well.

I think I'm going to drive to Miami on Friday for the second round of the WBC. I'm off that day and don't want to sit at home and think too much so maybe that'll help. Plus, I've never been to Miami. I could buy a new bathing suit and read on the beach for a day, just like I used to do all the time when I was upset. The water always made me feel better. :) Yeah, I'm in.

Shannon's in Orlando tomorrow, too. I've got to cover a game in Fort Myers but I'll probably go up there for the night, anyway. It's not often I get to see the wifey.

There's three days of activity to keep my mind occupied. ... now how about the rest of my life? Heh. I'm up for suggestions, what's a good time-waster? Road trip, perhaps? Anything to get me out of the house...and I'd prefer it to be cost-efficient. :)